http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1999-04238-001
I find that after the Form 5 SPM exam, students are really confused as to how to proceed with their studies. There was help at the school level after the SPM exam and students applied for likely places they wish to go. But the brunt of the problem is, they cannot decide where to go without the SPM results. Without the SPM results, they can only wish where they want to go after Form 5.
I was a bit agitated by many things that happened to my daughter who took the Form 5 SPM exam and waited for things to come her way. While waiting for her results, it really bothered me as to how she controlled her life having completed Form 5 SPM. Here are some of the things which I think something should be done about:
- SPM results come out very late and in the following year. That's about 6 months grace.
- I'm very surprised to find out that the school leaver today doesn't have clear ideas (vague) and is rather undecided as to what to do with her life.
- I find that my daughter listens to her friends who have short-term clear-cut ideas and target where they were going and what jobs they wanted to take on. Most only wanted to become an operator or a sales rep in the shops in the town where we live. I could not believe it that school leavers today would have such short-term happiness (get a job). Don't they even think of going further beyond 5th form? I didn't agree with my daughter just wanting to become a sales rep in a shop in front of the place where I work. I had to advise her. It was really necessary.
- How do I motivate my own daughter to go beyond just a simple work at the shops? How do I tell her to go beyond what her classmates have agreed to do? Will she listen to me or to her 'lifetime' friends?
I decided to take my one chance of advising my daughter for her lifetime decision. I have to do it now and I could choose to ignore and let her follow her friends. It won't matter if she decides to listen to me or to her friends but I must advise her or I will live to regret I never opened my mouth at this critical stage in her life.
Since my daughter was very undecided and just listening to everyone except me, for ideas as to how to proceed, I reluctantly but felt it rather responsible that I advise her to the best of my ability while I can control the situation at home. I advised her as follows:
- Continue at the old school and do Form 6. She said Form 6 today is different and is only for 1.5 years. She didn't quite accept the idea as many of her friends decided to stop school and had started working. She would be starting school with a bunch of unknown students and have to make new friends.
- Stick to the Arts stream. She agreed for reasons known to her.
- After she completes Form 6, and with a HSC, she has a better choice of universities to go to. Agreed.
- I can help pay for her studies in Form 6 and any local university of her choice. Agreed.
- Take up car driving for a driver's license so she can drive to school. Agreed. Now she has a license.
- I gave her a car and a motorcycle.
- I gave her a house key.
- I bought her a new set of school uniforms which were necessary.
Even though many offers came in her name, she would ask and my husband and I would advise her on all aspects of every offer. She listened and understood. She decided to try Form 6 though she wasn't happy about it at first. Now, after a few months, she seems ok, even though a bit grumpy but at least she is now in charge of her own life, has a purpose and direction. She now knows she has to complete Form 6 and a bigger world awaits after Form 6.
I will advise her again after Form 6, that's next year, insyaAllah. I don't want her to leave school at 18. I want her to continue and remain in any education system so that she matures through academia as I have. It is better to become an education person rather than be educated in other paths of life. With proper education and a wholesome education, any woman can make it great. So, I'm providing the best choices for her right now, as my own mother had advised me. I hope she will make it after I'm gone. She won't have any regrets listening to my advice. What are educated mothers for if they can't advise their own daughters?
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